How could I forget my trip to Wal Mart yesterday? We had 15 minutes, literally, to catch a glimpse of this uber famous department store. Uber famous for it's um, shall we say unique, shoppers. I so desperately wanted to spot some of those unique people that we see on Youtube but alas it wasn't to be. Miss Debby, however did see some action in the form of a young woman squirting mounds of moisturiser and applying it to her legs. She was wearing the pre-requisite mid-riff and a short skirt. How else would she be able to moisturise so easily? So practical!
I couldn't waste shopping time just searching for these people because I knew that I would definitely miss the bus home. I grabbed my make up brushes, a whole kit for $11! Who needs just 1 brush for $25? Phooey to that! I also got some super cheap Revlon lip liner and we know how much I love my lipstick so I popped over to Loreal to see if they had my Bronze Coin which is now discontinued. Oh joy of joys, there it is! I stopped at just 1, such control. Over to the chocolates to check out the range and I grab some Ghiradelli, oh but which flavour? I almost forgot - jigsaws!! Quickly I sought them out and wow, what a price! My favourite type of puzzle - the collage - and 2 of them for $8 and $9. I was in heaven. Oh which one will I get and which design? Oh, quickly the bus will be leaving soon, make a decision, oh my god, hurry up! I'll take both! The boxes are small enough and lightweight so it won't be a problem and if I was to buy these in Australia they would cost me at least $35, at LEAST, do you hear me? They won't put me over the baggage limit, the kilogram plus of chocolate might. I am so happy I could just break out into dance and I think somebody might put me on Youtube amongst the latest Wal Mart shoppers #9.
I clearly did not do that, otherwise you would have heard about it already.
Friday, 10.30am and 13 of us have gathered at the (not) south entrance to wait for our limousine to collect us and take us shopping again......but this time with the theme of RETRO! Ooh! Now I say "not" south because that's what we called it but it was actually south west I believe and our drivers didn't seem to be able to read minds so they were a bit late both days as they were waiting at the south entrance for us! Silly boys! Soon enough, a gigantic Hummer arrives and we all squeal with delight at the idea and rush out to get on board. Oh my giddy goodness, check IT OUT! Soon we are on our way to "The Attic", a famous retro store in LV. It is very tidy and there are lots of lovely things such as 60's mini skirts that don't fit me, dammit, tons of shoes, ballgowns, hats, wigs, shoes, wild looking men's suits and even a live DJ, when he isn't at the front counter ringing up the sales. I don't buy anything as you may have guessed.
We make a stop for re-charging because after 1/2 hour of this shopping business we are doggone popped. Our chauffeur has recommended Frank's Tiki Room - The Happiest Place On Earth as a place where we can grab a cheap cocktail. As I am taking photos of Miss Jane and Mr Grant under the big sign stating the aformentioned type of place, the others enter the establishment and leave us behind, thus locking us out! Oh Tracey, you jest! Oh readers, I don't! We had to knock 3 times on the ceiling, twice on the pipe and then they finally let us in. It was all so covert and spooky as we walked in because there were no lights, only the flashing diamonds and treasure chests of the slot machines. Where is everyone, where did they go? I can't see them, oh my god what's happened to them? Oh wait, there they are, my eyes are adjusting it's okay. Now this is the small town bar you see on the crime shows, at last I can let my imagination go wild....well wilder than it usually goes.
Everyone orders drinks but it's a bit early for me so I go for apricot and mango juice - from a can! It's really yummy, why can't we have things like that in Australia? I guess we do and it's called Boost juice and costs 3 times as much because you have to give your name and wait in line for 2 hours. Miss Jessica and I have had to move away from the group as there are a few smokers and it's a small place and we are choking fast. It's then that we notice the television at the bar playing a porno. I know! I do a double take and then triple check with Miss Jessica and she confirms my surprise. I can't stop watching it, I am quite stunned that it is actually playing. It's getting too smoky so we make our exit and wait outside for the gang hoping they aren't captured by a voodoo tiki statue and sent off to porn camp. Maybe some of them would like that but I can't comment as I don't know everyone well enough. All of a sudden the door bursts open and they all come running out shouting "start the hummer, start the hummer, get in, they've taken one of us, hurry, we have to get out of here. NOW!"
Oh dear, that was my imagination again! You couldn't tell though could you. You were really taken away with that story!
So, to our next stop which is Retro Vegas and the store owner was expecting us! Now that is glamorous! This store was full of beautiful furniture and home accessories and whilst I didn't make a purchase I told Miss Jane she must buy the 70's ice bucket which she did along with various other home decorating items.
We have one more important stop to make and that is at Serge's Showgirl Wigs. It is the wig store you want it to be and the kittens go Crazy.......meow! I won't be buying a wig so I wander over to the thrift store which is literally a junk store and laid out like one. I feel dirty and scummy just walking through it so I head back to the hummer and wait for the others. Our shopping day is done so it's back to our hotel.
It's only 1.30pm so there is tons of the day left and I also have the evening free so goodness only knows what I will do. There is still the Atomic Testing Museum to visit which I have been talking about for days so that is an option. But I decide to do some more shopping! Why? I don't really know, just in case I see something fantastic! I trudge back to the Fashion Mall and go to the Bettie Page store. I have already spied a dress that I love but don't think will fit me but stuff it, I'm going to try a few on. Oh gracious, it fits me perfectly and it's beautiful. How much is it? Oh, I see. It's not on special. It fits me perfectly and looks really, really pretty. It's expensive even for US prices and there is tax to add to that. Well fiddle-de-de, I'm going to buy it. Quickly before I talk myself out of it. Oh there's Miss Debby and Miss Linda in the store. I know they would have talked me into it but it wasn't necessary in the end, was it? We have a wander around together for a bit then part ways. I think we are all a bit blah as to what to do with our time so no decisions are made. Not a moment is wasted at the shops though as I go into a shoe store looking for a particular style which I know I will not find and I am suddenly at the register with my travelcard saying thanks very much and walking out with a bag of shoes in my hand. It is a coincidence, I assure you, that the shoes will make a lovely addition to my Bettie Page dress.
I head up to the food court and go online for 15 mins which costs $8.75 and I see that my previous messages to Vodafone didn't go through and they emailed me and said "we haven't heard from you since......problem solved." Yeah, thanks! I want to put some money on my travelcard because I have spent it all but of course I need my mobile for the netcode so that is useless. I will just have to use my ATM or credit card and pay the fees. $#%%^.
I walk back to the Forum Shops so I can go to Anthropologie. I really want the measuring cups and spoons, they are stunning but as I look at the price tag I am almost sick. That price is just stupid and they will probably break or someone else will break them which would be worse. I touch everything I want as my bottom lip drags along behind me in my wake. I leave empty handed.
I have no idea where to go or what to do next. I am so tired and have very little botherness left inside me. I pass up dinner with Miss Catherine and Miss Deb because they are going to Aria and it is expensive, out of my justification price range. I can't make my own decision though and get frustrated with myself and the expense of food in general. I go to Cafe Bellagio to calm down. I have meatloaf and vegies. It is really yummy but pretty damn salty and rich. Oh well, I wash it down with 2 glasses of wine and $45 later I am in bed. So much for a cheap dinner, I am hopeless sometimes. I would have joined Miss Catherine if I had A WORKING PHONE and could find them. What's done is done and at the end of the day I have managed to relax enough and am grateful not to have been rushed around like a loony. I wear myself out!