Where Is The (Neighbourly) Love?

Neighbours can be the bane of our home life existence, great friends or "other". I have been living in my current flat for nearly 12 months and my neighbours fall into the category of "other".

Most of them are young students (I assume) huddled together in 2 bedroom flats with few overheads. I am still receiving mail for the previous occupants of my place and I have come across about 4 different names. I know that the living room was used as a bedroom because the glass doors were covered up with posters or some such item to block out prying eyes. Anyway I digress.....

I want to talk about how neighbours behave. I don't have any complaints about mine but they are certainly a mysterious bunch.

Number 1: I think there is a couple there. They moved in about 3 months ago and I haven't seen them since. Actually I haven't seen her at all. I know there is a male and a female because of the laundry on the balcony nestled amongst the empty boxes and unused furniture. It is a lovely sight to pass by.

Number 2: This is the home of Mr Bloggs and Mrs Bloggs, both in their 70's perhaps and been renting here for 35 years. When I was moving in they said hello and introduced themselves as Mr and Mrs so and so. I don't remember their names. They say hello all the time and he takes care of the rubbish bins each week after hanging his hankies on the balcony alongside his shoes. He is a mechanic of sorts it seems and likes to work on his rickety old station wagon in the carport.

Number 3: Possibly 2 females, students, door slammers! Keep losing their laundry off the balcony. Hide when they see someone coming up the stairs.

Number 4: Oh number 4!!! The latest residents, about 3 in total but I can't be sure. Male and female - students I expect. I'm not happy with with them as they keep using my carport. Several times I have stumbled home inebriated and have had to scrawl a note of some description telling them not to park there. What the hell is going on? They have their own carport! They thought they could park their bike next to mine also. I nipped that one in the bud.

Number 5: Sydney lives here. He parks next to my spot so introduced himself to me. I see him now and then. That's all I know. I think he lives alone.

Number 6: A family of four!!!!!! They weren't here when I arrived and then one day they were. Parents are probably in their 30's, I don't really know because I only see them from a distance. The kids are about 9 and 7 but I could be way off. Why, oh why would you live in a 2 bedroom flat with 2 kids? Of course I don't know their situation but I have to make up some kind of story for them. The kids are a bit shy to say hello but dammit I said hello to them today and got a response out of one of them.

Number 7: 2 females and 1 male or something like that, students, door slammers. Hide when I come up stairs or out of my flat. I know they are deaf because they have the tv blaring. Why can't it be music? Go away for a couple of days and leave the balcony door open so it bangs and crashes in the wind and rain. In some strange and spooky way, they always seem to arrive home minutes after I do - no matter what day it is and what time I come home. It is absolutely bizarre.

Number 8: Well, that's me and I am perfectly normal. I do not slam doors, park in someone else's space, blast my tv or run away when a neighbour approaches.

What is it with these people? They don't even want to say hello at the mailbox! The last place I lived in was the complete opposite. That was nosy neighbours and gossip! It was so much more interesting.