My Name Is Tracey And I Am A Left Hander

I went to a new cafe today for coffee and whilst I grumbled at the $3.50 price tag I have to admit that the presentation won me over and the fact that it gave me a subject to write a blog about.

I am always hesitant when it comes to trying out new places for coffee and by that I mean the actual coffee not just the environment, because I am very fussy with my coffee.

Getting myself comfortable and set up for the next 20 minutes or so included moving my small coffee table to the left and my chair facing the passing pedestrians. Soon enough my beverage arrived and I was pleasantly taken aback. I had a fancy cup sitting atop a rectangular shaped saucer. Alongside it was a piece of biscotti and an individual sugar jar. Absolutely lovely it was, given that I was not sitting in Versace Conservatory but at a non-descript cafe at Southbank. However, I do think that 5 sugar sachets plus 2 equal sachets is more than sufficient for one small cup of coffee. The milk looked suitably thick and creamy and had a lovely looking swirly pattern on top, but swirls do not impress me, taste does.

The cup was an eye-catcher in that it had a lop-sided rim and a very roomy handle for me to rest my fingers in without being squished. Now if you think about a hug mug from Max Brenner’s Chocolate House and then add a handle, you have the cup that I was drinking from.

BUT WAIT – something is not right! Whatever could be wrong Tracey, you say? Well let me tell you! This cup was made for a RIGHT HANDER! Bah! How can you tell Tracey? Oh, I can tell, we can all tell!! I wanted to ask my waiter if they had any left handed cups but I refrained as I did not want to deal with the negative answer or the look of “are you for real?”. I hadn’t even touched the cup or put it to my lips for a sip and I knew. The lop-sided rim just screamed out to me, “I am made for a right hander, come on leftie, show me what ya got!” Oh my goodness, how will I manage?

Well, I lifted the cup in my right hand with great confidence and took a sip. Very comfy! As I went for the second sip I couldn’t help myself I had to switch hands, no matter how uncomfortable, no matter how much dribbling was about to occur, I had to defy the right handed domination of the world and prove that I could drink from that cup with my left hand. Okay so I used two hands!

As a child learning to write I was never told to use my right hand. Oh, we have trouble writing because we smudge everything but honestly, that just comes down to the pen that is in use – no? I don’t remember thinking too much about being left handed until I got to high school and our PE classes. We often played cricket or softball which caused me a little bit of confusion in that I never could remember which way to stand and hold the bat. I think I could bat both ways (pun not intended - is there a pun when I am straight?). I was actually quite good at cricket and had to retire one day to let others have a go! For the record I bat right handed and use a tennis racket in my left hand.

Eating is an interesting event. I put my fork in my left hand and knife in my right. This makes me a right hander. My sister is a right hander but uses her fork in her right hand and knife in her left. There is no reason for this, it has just happened naturally. She does look a bit weird, I must say!

Using a ladle is always awkward as the spout is placed for a right hander. Serving soup can result in spillage. Can openers are never easy but they are not as big a culprit as some, although I think in general they are horrid kitchen items. At the end of the day the worst offender and most evil of all kitchen utensils or multi-purpose item are the......SCISSORS!

For a left hander, using right handed scissors hurt. A lot! There is no escaping this pain. Full stop! Well if it’s such a problem why don’t you buy some left handed scissors then?? $16.40 is the reason why thank you very much! From the left handed store I could buy all sorts of goodies and I am here to give you an insight:

There are computer keyboards with the numeric keypad on the left side; boomerangs and cameras; knives and forks; come on, you can’t have a left-handed knife without a partner;

There are plastic rulers for a cool $3.30 for those who read backwards! Apparently it's not just the Chinese.
Best selling multi-purpose scissors - $16.40
Basic steel tin opener - $9.40 ooh yes these hurt too.
Pencil Sharpeners - $7.00 because we find them so difficult to use, we really are a bit useless!

According to Wikipedia, 90-93% of the population is right handed. Left handedness occurs more frequently in those who have neurological disorders – such as those with “mental retardation”. Ah, yes I can hear you laugh from miles away! In many languages “left” symbolises clumsiness (I think that is just because right handers haven’t got a clue). Even my own country, Scotland, believes this and uses the term “corrie fistit”. Other lovely names we get called are “Southpaw” originating from baseball; “Cacky-handed” of Latin or Norse origins; and “Mollydooker” from Australia. From another site we are more "creative but forgetful". Well, I beg to differ there! Yes, I am creative, but forgetful? Well, no more than a right hander!!!!!

Another site dedicated to left handers promotes “annual left handed day”, and “left hander of the year”. The top 2 retail items are scissors and a pen! A pen!

There is a bond between left handers that I am sure you right handers don’t have and you know it. I hear right handers say to me “oh you’re a left hander” all the time and I really do wonder why they feel the need to point it out to me. I already know! What do you want me to say in response? Um, “Yes, I am.” Alright left handers do say it too but that’s because we are bonding as a minority.

When have you ever heard someone say “oh you’re a right hander!”

You haven’t!